


Basically Heterosexual

by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle



Series: Storytime: Voltron is (Basically) a Disaster [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Humor, M/M, Shiro is the definition of a gay disaster, Swearing, There's swearing, but yeah, he's trying his best, his younger self isn't as smart as his older self, sorry I forgot about that one, you'll see what i mean by that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-14 18:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15394800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle/pseuds/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
Summary: “Wait – you’re gay?”“Adam… Adam we’re dating.” Shiro frowned, glancing up from his paperwork. He wasn’t entirely sure if this was a joke or if his boyfriend was actually unaware of their relationship for the past three months. Adam sat on the couch, looking completely blown away by the turn of events.“We’re dating?” He repeated and groaned “We're dating! Takashi you couldn’t have told me that sooner? I’ve had a hot boyfriend and didn’t know?” He threw up his hands “Do my parents know?!” He asked. Shiro frowned. He thought they did – but then again he thought Adam had known too.“I… Have no idea? Did you think straight guys normally make-out with other guys?”“Don’t blame me for your lack of communication skills!”OrShiro is trying to implement the homosexual agenda, but (like all great conquests) there are challenges. Ft. Keith being exasperated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to write Lance's fic first, but with the big Shiro reveal I switched the order around. Whoops lol. This is technically of part a series, but you can 100% read it by itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY, EVERYONE! I don't know if this is going to show up at the top of Ao3's dash or not, but I literally just figured out how to fix the problems with my chapter notes so that's why I'm updating this...Luckily this is completed so you can't be too disappointed.

“So… Are you like an _ally_ or…?”

Shiro tore himself away from daydreaming at the board in front of him to the girl who was looking at the rainbow pin on his bag with not-so-subtle disappointment. Shiro raised an eyebrow.

“No.” He answered and she frowned.

“Oh. So like…Experimenting?”

“No.”

“Oh.” She said and put her chin in her palm, turning back to the front of the classroom again. Shiro resisted the urge to scoff at her before trying to re-focus on the lesson. It was really a fruitless endeavor considering his eyes were immediately drawn to the boy in the front row, scribbling frantically. His glasses slipped to the end of nose and he pushed it back up, almost poking himself in the eyes as he did so. Shiro sighed. His goal had been to introduce himself by the end of the week. That goal had now extended to introduce himself by the end of the month.. but quite frankly the end of the _semester_ wasn’t looking too plausible.

“Dude,” Matt whispered from his other side “If you don’t start listening you’re going to be failing _and_ single.”

“Is that not what I’m doing now?” He muttered and picked up his pencil.

* * *

So... Shiro messed up.

He had finally gotten to that introduction and it could not have gone more terribly. He figured the training simulators were a good time. He was wrong. In fact, he was just wrong about life in general. It was overrated anways. Who needed it? Maybe he should rethink his career as a pilot and live on a farm away from human civilization. He would be miserable, but at least he would stop making a fool of himself.

“Got something to say Shirogane?”

How did this go so badly so quickly?

“Just wondering if your feet are going to reach the pedals of the simulator.” Shiro snapped back and inwardly groaned. Matt snorted from beside him.

“Yeah. Really smooth, man. I can see you’re really winning him over.” He said and Shiro took a long breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Well he _did_ kind of start it!” He argued weakly. Matt rose an eyebrow in disbelief. 

“Please explain that to me, Shiro. Because from where I’m sitting it _looked_ like you went to say hello and instead told him to go to Hell.”

In fairness… That is kind of what happened. Shiro panicked a little.

“I asked him what is score in the simulator was…”

“Okay. Sounds good so far.”

“His was lower than mine so I said I should tutor him.”

“Ouch.”

Shiro sighed. He had _meant_ it as more of a ‘hey let’s hang out and I can try to figure if you’re straight’ kind of thing, but he was now realizing it came out as more of a ‘ha, you’re a shit pilot and should take lessons from a _pro_ ’ kind of thing.

“Yeah. Then he got made and I got mad and…Well. You saw the rest.” He mumbled and crossed his arms. Matt offered a pat of comfort on his arm.

“You _could_ apologize.”

Shiro snorted. Matt always did have a good sense of humor.

* * *

 .....Shiro ended up apologizing. It went a little something like this:

"I know I was an ass before, but it was kind of on accident and I meant that I wanted to spend time with you and I know it came out like I was saying you're terrible pilot, but I think you're a really  _good_ pilot and you don't have to like me or anything, but can you please stop glaring at me all the time because it is really distracting." He said and gulped in air. By distracting he meant 'really attractive' but figured now wasn't the best time to say that. 

"Uh... Alright?" The boy said "In that case, I'm sorry that I told Iverson you cheated off of me."

"Yeah. That was kind of a dick move." Shiro nodded. The boy winced and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Did you get in trouble?" He asked and Shiro couldn't help but bite back a grin at that as he shoved his hands into his pocket.

"Uh... No. He kind of didn't believe you since I got a higher score on that too..." He trailed off and gave an apologetic shrug. The guy stared at him. He looked torn between in yelling and crying. Shiro was about to try and defuse the situation when he spoke up again.

"Okay, maybe you _should_ tutor me." He said, sounding defeated. Despite that, Shiro felt his face brighten. He immediately tried to hide his glee when the kid glared at him.

"Yeah. Totally. Sure." He said and from somewhere across the room, Matt snorted. "Maybe we should start over though...? I'm Takashi. Most people call me Shiro though." He said and the boy's scowl melted for a second.

"I like Takashi." He said, voice going a little soft. Oh no. Oh _no_. "I'm Adam... Just Adam. No cool nickname for me."

Shiro was so done for.

* * *

 “This is the _worst_.” Adam moaned as he threw himself on top of Shiro’s bed. Shiro ignored him in favor of filling out more forms. “Elena called and cancelled on me for pride.”

“Isn’t Elena straight?”

“Yeah, but she’s an ally and I don’t know anybody gay to go with.” Adam muttered and Shiro stopped writing for a moment to let the shock turn into an offended throb in his chest.

“I… I am… Gay…?” He spluttered out “I had kind of figured I was going to pride with you…?”

Adam froze on the bed, slowly moving his head to look Shiro dead in the eyes.

“Wait – _you’re gay_?”

“Adam… Adam we’re _dating_.” Shiro frowned, abandoning his paperwork. He wasn’t entirely sure if this was a joke or if his boyfriend was actually unaware of their relationship for the past three months. Adam sat on the couch, looking completely blown away by the turn of events.

“We’re dating?” He repeated and groaned “We're _dating._ Takashi you couldn’t have told me that sooner? I’ve had a hot boyfriend and _didn’t know_?” He threw up his hands “Do my parents know?!” He asked. Shiro frowned. He _thought_ they did – but then again he thought Adam had known too.

“I… Have no idea? Did you think straight guys normally make-out with other guys?”

“Don’t blame me for your lack of communication skills!”

"My lack of-" Shiro spluttered and was monentarily blinded by the flash on Adam's camera.

"Hold still. I need to get a picture of you for my instagram." He announced. Shiro blinked, trying to think of a good response to that when his phone buzzed. He pulled out his phone to find Adam had indeed updated his instagram with a picture of Shiro and a _#checkoutmyboyfriend_

"Adam..."

* * *

 “It’s good to see you guys are finally becoming friends!” Elena, one of their classmates, said brightly. Shiro looked over at Adam, who raised his eyebrow.

“Yeah…” He said and looked down at their intertwined hands. “Friends.” He said and she smiled brightly at them before walking away. Adam scoffed, shaking his head as he watched her go.

“Straight people.”

“You didn’t know we were dating either, Adam.” Shiro pointed out and took a sip of water as he watched his boyfriend narrow his eyes at him.

“That was so long ago, Takashi. Get over it.”

“That was an _hour ago_!”

* * *

 “Huh. You don’t seem gay. Are you – where are you going?”

Shiro didn’t respond, sipping his latte as he slid out of the booth. He figured on an average day he had the patience of a saint. Statiscally speaking that meant he was allowed one day a year where he had literally _no_ patience. For some reason, he was almost always talking to Iverson when that day came each year. It was almost like a holiday designed specifically to make the man miserable. He took another sip of his latte. 

Adam didn’t look surprise when he slid into the car. Shiro had told him he could come into the coffee shop with them, but refrained because ‘you won’t spend more than five minutes alone with Iverson’. Shiro had insisted that coming out to their teacher/boss would be effortless. He sighed. Adam was tragically right about these things usually.

“That didn’t take long.” He told him “What did he say?”

“I apparently don’t seem gay. What does that even _mean_?”

Should he dye his uniform so it looked like a rainbow or something? Adam shrugged, tugging the latte out of his grip so he could take a sip and laughed at the astrocious attempt to spell his name on the side of the cup. After he finished snickering, he went back to Shiro's previous question.

“I don’t know." He yawned, turning the engine on "Maybe that you should dress better?”

Shiro choked on the coffee. He reminded himself that this was his special day to have no patience and tried to figure out how injured he would be if he jumped out of the car at that moment. Adam must have read his mind because he pressed the lock button. Shiro scowled. Well. Since he was stuck with his traitor boyfriend he might as well give some opinions.

“I can’t _fucking believe you-_ ”

* * *

 “Uh… Shiro?”

“Let me finish, Keith.” Shiro said, holding up a hand to the now thirteen-year-old. He wanted to get everything out all at once. He knew Keith would have questions, but hoped they could wait for the moment. “I just want you to understand that Adam… Isn’t like Matt.” He said slowly. “Matt is my best friend, of course, but Adam is…Someone I spend time more…Romantically with.” He finished slowly. He had come out plenty of times to plenty of people, but Keith was a bit younger than his usual demographic. He couldn’t just say ‘hey. I like dick’ to him like he did with Matt.

“Okay.” Keith said nodded “That’s…Good. I… I already kind of knew about it though, Shiro.” He added. Shiro frowned.

“You…Did? Keith you can’t just _assume_ that sort of thing about people-”

“No, no!” Keith interrupted and shook his head “I just meant that everyone at the Garrison kind of talks about it. I know I haven’t _met_ Adam, but like, I know that you’ve been dating him for a few years now.”

Shiro tilted his head.

“People at the Garrison talk about it?” He asked. Keith nodded. Huh. “….What do they say? They think we're a better couple than Elena and Andrew right?” He asked and Keith blinked. 

“Shiro..." He sighed.

* * *

 "So..." Elena sat down across from him. "I hear Keith is in your class this semester." She said and Shiro winced. He had heard about that... Numerous times... From Keith himself. He sighed and leaned back into his chair, massaging his temples as he nodded. He got the feeling that the arrangement was going to give him a headache.

"I think Iverson is trying to turn him against me." He said. Shiro knew Keith's study habits by this point - Shiro was going to have to look the kid dead in eye and fail him until he decided to try. He silently shuddered at the chaos that was coming his way. Elena hummed in sympathy, pushing a cup of coffee his way. He took it gratefully.

"At least he's not in Adam's class." She pointed out. Shiro considered that. Adam and Keith were at an awkward point where they were slowly warming up to each other - although he did hear Keith threaten to break his glasses the other night. He wondered what would happen if they interacted with each other in a classroom setting. He figured that was something he didn't want to think about.

"You are absolutely right." He agreed and stood up.

"Where are you going?" She called after him and he waved her away as he made his way towards his empty classroom. Lunch was still another twenty minutes.

"Going to catch up on paperwork!" He called over his shoulder. It was a lie, but he figured he deserved some time to relax and listen to _Panic! at the Disco_ while he still had some of his sanity left. Unfortunately, this plan was thwarted when he found a girl sitting in one of the desks, staring miserably at the ground.

"Hey - you alright?" He called to her and the girl's head snapped up, eyes widening.

"Oh, uh. Mr. Shirogane." She greeted weakly. He wasn't sure why she was surprised to see him in his own classroom, but decided not to address it. "I.. Are you busy?" She asked, squirming a little in her seat. He thought back to _Panic! at the Disco_ and forced himself to shake his head.

"Not at all." He told her and the girl nodded very slowly. She drummed her fingers on the desk for a moment before taking a long breath.

"How can you tell if you're.. Not...Straight?" She asked.

Well then. He had always figured this might happen... He was kind of expecting it to be that McClain kid that was supposed to be in his class this semester first though. He sat down next to her. He had a planned a whole script of what he wanted to say in situations like this. He would ask if they wanted to talk through what they were feeling, reassure them it was okay not to be sure, etc...

Unfortunately, that wasn't what happened.

"I took an online quiz."

God _damnit_... It was true, but he hadn't wanted to admit to it.

"You...?" The girl frowned "What did you get?" She asked. Shiro shrugged.

"I really don't remember. My friend told me the fact I took an online quiz should have made the answer obvious."

"Fair enough."

* * *

 “You’re in a bad mood.” Adam noted as Shiro aggressively attempted to cut a cucumber. “You know, I can cook-”

“No. I got it.” He muttered and Adam winced when he slammed the knife into the cucumber. He took a long breath. “Sorry. Keith got into a fight today-”

“Nice! Did he win?”

Shiro stopped cutting to look at him. Adam’s eyes drifted from the knife to the cucumber before circling back to Shiro’s face.

“I mean, uh, oh. That’s not… Good…”

Shiro rolled his eyes. Growing up, Adam had gotten plenty of fights himself. It had always been a terrifying sight. Adam was a pretty boy with glasses and kind of scrawny. You wouldn’t think he could pack a punch, but Shiro had seen him take down guys three times his size.

He looked towards Keith room for a second before leaning in towards Adam.

“Yeah, he totally _demolished_ the other kid,” He whispered “It was kind of awesome, but don’t tell him. He needs to think I’m mad at him.”

Adam took a sip of his coffee.

“Takashi, I love you with all my heart, but you are a disaster.”

* * *

 “Hey, Shiro?”

Keith was looking at him with a slight crease between his brows, pencil tapping absently against the counter. He tilted his head, giving a hum of acknowledgement as he attempted to make a new pot of coffee with weird espresso maker Adam had gotten him.

“I want to be like you when I get older.”

Immediately Shiro almost dropped the cup he was holding in surprise. Holy fuck. It was _happening_.

Keith wasn’t really an affectionate or expressive kid. Whenever he _did_ show either of those things it usually came in the form of aggression or purposely withholding aggression where there might usually be some. For him to say something so sweet and well-meaning as this sent Shiro into a bit of a spiral.

He could _not fuck this up._

“Oh?” He asked, trying to sound casual. He put the coffee on hold to give Keith his full attention. He hummed. At fifteen he was at the awkward age where he looked a bit like an adult and a child at the same time. “Well you’ll probably be better than me.” He dismissed. It was true after all – he had the utmost confidence that Keith would excel at whatever he chose to do in life. “You’re already an amazing pilot and-” He started and stopped when Keith blinked at him.

“Oh. Yeah.” Keith nodded earnestly “Piloting.”

“Did… Did you not mean piloting?” Shiro asked, inwardly panicking. What had he missed? What else do him and Keith have in common? Was he talking general personality? Character traits?

“I was talking about having a boyfriend who buys me stuff.”

Shiro blanked.

Was… This technically coming out? Okay, he needed to be supportive and – wait, wait.

“Who _buys you stuff_?” Shiro repeated and Keith gestured to the coffee machine… Then to the TV Adam had surprised him with a couple months ago. Then to the video game console Adam had gotten him for his birthday… Then to the shirt he was wearing. Then to leftovers in the fridge that Adam had brought them over the night before.

“ _Keith, no_ _-_ ”

* * *

“No.”

“Yes.”

“ _No_.”

“ _Yes_. I swear to – Adam help me.” Shiro called and felt his mouth drop at what he was seeing. _“Adam!_ ”

“Shi – Sorry!” Adam said, putting the tray of cookies he raiding from their pantry down. He wiped the crumbs from his mouth and hopped over the counter to stand next to Shiro. “What are we talking about?”

Honestly Shiro just wanted to sleep.

“Keith… Please come out.” He said, pinching the bridge of his nose “We are literally moving to the next building. It’s not that far.”

“Then why do we have to move at all?” Keith moaned. Adam stuffed his hands in his pocket, looking pleased with this line of questioning. Shiro raised an eyebrow and his boyfriend held up a hand that clearly said ‘I got this’.

Shiro doubted that, but gestured for him to continue.

“Because Shiro and I are engaged now so it makes sense that we live in the same place. Maybe I could move into this apartment instead of you guys moving to mine?” He said, voice soothing and soft enough to lull Shiro into nodding along with him.

“NO!”

“No?” Adam asked, looking shocked at his speech having not worked. He blinked and turned to Shiro. How was he supposed to fix this? “So… The issue isn’t the _moving_ it’s… That _I’m_ living with you? I thought you liked me!” Adam said, sounding genuinely devastated by the news. Yikes.

Keith’s door cracked open slightly and dark eyes glared back at them.

“Come on, I asked for your permission before I proposed and everything!” Adam added now that he could see him. Shiro turned to him.

“You what?”

“Dude. If I didn’t ask Keith first then this wedding would definitely not be happening.” He said and lowered his voice “I don’t know where you found this kid, but he still kind of scares me.” He said and turned back to Keith who had opened the door a bit wider to watch them with pursed lips.

“I can’t deal with both of you at the same time.” He said bluntly. They _really_ needed to work on manners. Adam hummed thoughtfully. Perhaps Keith realized he didn’t have the best tact because he backtracked “I just mean… Do you guys really need to spend _that_ much time together? You were fine before.”

That was... Sort of an improvement?

“Aren’t you exhausted though?” Adam asked and Keith blinked. Shiro furrowed his brows together in confusion “I mean, you of all people should know how hard it is to get Takashi to take care of himself. I had to stop him from have three cups of coffee at lunch today. I can only imagine what you have to deal with.”

_Why?_

“He tried to tell me yesterday that the vodka he was drinking was water.” Keith nodded and the door opened fully. It was technically progress, but Shiro felt like somehow this went in the opposite direction he had hoped for. “He also binged _Master Chef_ last night instead of going to bed. I had cut off our internet.”

Wait. That was Keith? Shiro opened his mouth to protest, but Adam was already nodding in sympathy.

“Terrible self-care.” He shook his head. Shiro was a little grateful neither of them went for the obvious jab that was looming over them. His eyes flicked to the medication on the table that he yet to take. “I was kind of hoping we could tag team the whole issue.”

Keith frowned.

“Huh.” He said thoughtfully and looked at Shiro, who was still in disbelief at the situation. “I… Guess…”

Wait. If they moved in together would he have to deal with this _all_ the time? A sense of horror dawned on him.

“Um… Maybe we should wait until Keith is more comfortable with this-”

“Maybe I was overreacting.” Keith cut him off “I guess your apartment is closer to the training grounds anyways.” He mused “I’ll help pack up the kitchen… Or is there something else I can do to help?”

“Wait. Wait, we should probably talk more-”

“The kitchen is perfect! Let me show you how to wrap the mugs up.” Adam said and kissed Shiro’s cheek. “Told you I could do it, babe.” He murmured and led Keith away. Shiro was left standing there, trying to process what he had just gotten himself into.

* * *

“Hey… Shiro?” Lance prodded his arm gently. Shiro glanced up to find everyone asleep. After Adam had launched into ten more stories to thoroughly embarrass Keith, he had turned on Shiro and launched into _those_ stories. Pidge had looked as though her life was complete as she listened to Shiro make a fool of himself and Hunk had been snickering the entire time. Lance was surprisingly quiet though. Shiro hadn’t thought much of it at the time.

“Hey.” He greeted, tiredly. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He said and sat next to him, wringing his hands together “Um… Do you need to sleep?” He asked, tilting his head. Shiro frowned. He _was_ exhausted, but something told him that if he postponed whatever conversation was about to happen that it wouldn’t come back up.

“No, I’m awake. What's on your mind?” He said, trying to keep his voice light. Lance paused.

“I was… Just wondering. Uh, like… How did you …Know…” He trailed off. Shiro frowned.

“Know?”

“With… Adam? Or not Adam specifically, but like… You know. The stuff with…” He stuttered out, words stumbling together. "I mean, outside of online quizzes." He said with a nervous laugh. His hands were balled up tightly in his lap, eyes firmly planted on the ground. Shiro felt his eyes widen. Oh. Okay.

This had been more along the lines of what he expected with Keith… He figured Lance would be the one to casually announce he wanted a sugar daddy. He supposed that showed what he knew.

“It’s pretty confusing.” He said gently and bumped his arm “Do you want to talk through it…?”

Lance turned his eyes on him and nodded slowly. Shiro smiled.

“Yeah… Yeah okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen. The online quiz is a true thing. Obviously, not everyone who takes an online quiz to see if they're gay is gay but... Let's be real here. There's a 90% chance.
> 
> This will probably end up having more chapters tbh... Basically Home Schooled was supposed to be one chapter and we all saw how THAT turned out. My bad.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. You have no idea how hard I laughed at the response to this. Don't think I don't know that y'all love this because you are all ALSO gay disasters. 
> 
> Disclaimer: not mine

“GUYS!”

Shiro slammed open the door to the faculty lounge, silencing all of the occupants who had been quietly discussing whatever they discussed when Shiro wasn’t around. All eyes snapped to him. He didn’t need to say anything else for them realize what was going on.

“Oh my God it’s happening.”

“No _way_!”

“Pay up, Carter. I told you it would happen by the end of the semester.”

“Let the man speak first!”

Shiro held up a hand, gaining the attention of the entire room effortlessly. Adam rolled his eyes, having barely looked up from his conversation with Elena. No doubt he was more well-versed on what was happening than he wanted to be.

“He looked at him.”

There was a soft gasp as everyone leaned in. Shiro secretly enjoyed how captivated they were and poured himself a cup of coffee for no other reason than to see if he could still hold their attention while giving them no information.

…He could.

“ _Explain_ , Takashi!” Elena said and Adam shot her an affronted look.

“His name is Shiro to you.” He muttered.

“So,” He continued, ignoring Adam “This all started with me making a horrific teaching mistake.” He said and faculty nodded. Shiro was a little offended that nobody bothered to even _pretend_ to look surprised, but figured that wasn’t the priority right now. “I was looking at the textbook today and I realized they updated it from when we went to school.”

There was a collective groan at that. The textbook issue seemed never ending. It was why everyone preferred simulator teaching. Shiro rolled his eyes and nodded in sympathy.

“Exactly.” He agreed “So… I got frustrated and I called the textbook homophobic.” He said and Adam snickered. It was a well-known fact that Shiro had the habit of calling _anything_ that inconvenienced him homophobic. He was fond of saying it to Adam whenever he refused to wash dishes. The teachers all nodded. “Well, I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but… Yeah.” He shrugged and took a sip of coffee “McClain must have agreed with me because he said something and Keith just turned to him.”

“ _Dude_.” Carter gaped.

Lance and Keith’s relationship was _also_ a well-discussed topic in the faculty lounge. Shiro had them both in his class and about two weeks into the beginning of class had moved Lance next to Keith in hopes that the kid’s good study habits would rub off on him.

It…Kind of worked? Just not in the way he was expecting.

Turns out Lance was super competitive and would do pretty much anything to show-up Keith. This, in turn, annoyed Keith so much that his effort levels skyrocketed out of pure spite.

“Wait, wait. So did he actually see his face though?” Emma demanded and Shiro sighed. That was the other thing. Keith, being Keith, decided to handle the situation with so much pettiness that even Shiro had to raise an eyebrow. Ever since Lance first opened his mouth Keith refused to acknowledge him. He would occasionally snap back comments, but he just would not _look_ at the guy. Shiro wasn’t entirely sure that he even knew his name. Keith exclusively referred to him as ‘the McClain kid’.

So naturally the entire teaching staff (minus Iverson) was invested in seeing this relationship to the bitter end.

God, Keith would _kill_ him if he ever found out about this.

“That’s the _thing_. Lance had his hand covering his face so he didn’t.” Shiro told them and a groan went throughout the room. “Keith was beside himself though. He thought that Lance was saying that _he_ was homophobic.”

“Yikes.”

“Yikes.” Shiro agreed. He loved his surrogate little brother and if he ever had any doubt that Keith loved him back then all he had to do was say someone showed him any type of dislike and watch what happened next. Shiro, having realized him and Lance had the same sense of humor about two days into the semester, was pretty sure Lance had said something along the lines of ‘same’ when Shiro proclaimed the textbook to be homophobic. Without proper context he supposed he could understand Keith’s reaction.

“Wait,” Carter frowned “Keith lives with you and he doesn’t know how you use call literally everything homophobic?”

“I try not to around him.” Shiro shrugged “That sort of thing obviously confuses him… As you can see.” He gestured vaguely.

“Shiro, you need to be more hands on.” Elena told him “Keith is too stubborn. You need to assign them to work together.”

“Ha!” Shiro scoffed “I don’t think so. I would prefer if I _didn’t_ live with an angry teenager, thank you very much.”

“With Keith Kogane is there any other way to live?”

“Watch it, Adam.”

“Sorry.”

* * *

 “What are you doing?”

Shiro looked up from his computer to find Keith with his bag lazily slung over his shoulder, head tilted a bit to the side. His eyes were flicking between Shiro and the pile of paper towels that surrounded him on the ground. There was a pause.

“Iverson keeps telling me I don’t look gay.” He finally said. Keith nodded slowly. His expression gave away nothing.

“Okay… I feel like that doesn’t explain…This.” He said, gesturing to the situation in front of him. Shiro scowled and paused his YouTube video.

“Well I have to wear my uniform.” He shrugged “So I figured I would paint rainbows on my nails.” He said, holding up his variety of colored paints. Shiro wasn’t particularly excited about it. He wasn’t the kind of person who was big on that sort of thing, but he figured if Iverson was only going to accept his sexuality based on stereotypes he needed to do _something_. Keith nodded again.

“I see.” He said “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Would I be watching a YouTube video if I did?”

“Good point.” He muttered and dug out his phone “I’m calling Matt.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t he say he used to paint his sister’s nails?”

Huh. Shiro shut his computer. He knew he had picked a smart kid. After Matt stopped by an hour later with an entire arsenal of nail painting equipment (‘Katie hates letting me paint her nails so I have to go all out when she let’s me’) Shiro would say he was fairly satisfied with the results.

“How long are you going to keep it?” Keith asked eating – was the fucking yogurt? Shiro snatched it from him with a scowl. It was like he _wanted_ his lactose intolerance to kill him.

“I don’t know.” He said, looking down at the colors. It was a bit flashy, but he figured it would do its job.

“I don’t see why you couldn’t just wear a rainbow pin or your uniform or something.” Keith mused and Shiro stopped looking at his nails to digest what he just heard.

“I… You couldn’t have suggested that _before_ the second coating of paint?”

* * *

 “Oh! Look at you two!”

The waitress was beaming at them, eyes alight with pleasure as she handed them their menus. Adam glanced at her, eyes dancing with askance.

“Boys night out, huh?” She asked, probably confirming Adam’s worst fear. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell your girlfriends.” She winked and placed two beers in front of them. Shiro shrugged and took a sip. He wasn’t the kind of man to refuse anything free.

“Girlfriends.” Adam repeated, watching her vanish around the corner. They could not more clearly have been on a date. Shiro was pretty sure anytime he went out with his friends they didn’t tend to occupy a five star restaurant that had a three month waiting list, but maybe he was just friends with the wrong kinds of people. “I’m going to tell her.”

“Don’t you dare!” Shiro shot back. He was far too hungry to deal with the waitress’ reaction to finding out they were a couple. Adam pouted, glaring at the menu before looking back at Shiro.

“…want to split something?” He asked innocently.

“You just want to be obvious.” Shiro told him. Adam shrugged. “You know, if she didn’t put the pieces together when we walked in holding hands she probably won’t come to the conclusion on her own.” He pointed out. Adam said nothing, still waiting for Shiro’s response. He sighed. “ _Fine_ , but you need to let me pay.”

“Pay?” Adam frowned, tilting his head a bit. “Why?”

“You pay for lots of stuff. I can take care of this.” Shiro dismissed and immediately held up the menu to conceal his face “The fish looks good.”

“Takashi.” Adam said, a note of amusement in the name. He felt the menu being poked at “I can take care of the check. You got a kid you’re spending money on back at home.” He said and Shiro sighed, lowering the menu a bit to see Adam visibly holding back laughter. He clearly realized what was going on, the ass.

“Yeah. A kid who thinks you’re my sugar daddy.” He muttered, feeling himself flush a bit. He hadn’t noticed Adam paid for so much, honestly. He felt kind of bad about it. Plus he was supposed to be setting an example for Keith – who now apparently wanted to date someone who would buy him stuff.

“Oh, is that not what’s happening?”

“Adam!” He snapped out, throwing down the menu to glare at him. Adam’s laughter was contagious and Shiro was actively reminding himself that it was at his expense to keep from joining him. “It isn’t funny!”

“Keith’s growing on me.” He mused and Shiro took a deep breath “Babe, chill. If you want I can tell him you paid.”

“Or you can let me _actually pay_.”

“Takashi.” Adam rolled his eyes “I was serious about before. You’re supporting two people now. Clothes and food for a teenager isn’t exactly cheap. Not to mention the school supplies, his phone, that secret stash of cash you keep just in case he gets arrested-”

“I _do not_ have-”

“There is literally an envelope labeled ‘Keith’s Bail Money’ in your dresser.” Adam interrupted him “Not to mention you have hospital and medication bills to think about – this is all before even getting to paying normal bills and-”

“Yes. I get it.” Shiro told him, unwilling to hear the rest. Adam’s face softened.

“I’m just saying. It’s a lot and I like to help you.”

Wow. Shiro was too goddamn in love to deal with this right now.

“Alright, what can I get you two to eat? Are you still waiting for your girlfriends?”

The waitress was back. Apparently it occurred to her that this wasn’t the usual place for a ‘guys night out’. Adam looked at him. Shiro looked at the menu with a bit of resignation.

“Go ahead and tell her.”

* * *

 Tragically, Adam was not Shiro’s first boyfriend. He had dated before he and Adam officially got together (well… Before Shiro thought they were together and Adam was oblivious to that fact) and usually the breakups were pretty clean.

Of course… Then there was Clifford.

Looking back on it, Shiro figured he should have known better than to date someone called Clifford anyhow. The name alone brought mental images of golfing and excessive amounts of polo shirts. He had been young back then and after that one summer with him, figured they would never see each other again.

…He was beginning to think that fate was just making fun of him at this point.

“Takashi!”

This was bad. So very bad.

Like a pair of sharks sensing blood both Adam and Keith’s heads snapped in the direction of the voice.

At this point, Shiro had a few options running through his head

1) Take a deep breath and deal with the situation head-on 2) Leave 3) Pretend to have gotten in a tragic car accident that left him with amnesia, thus no idea what was going on

Shiro knew for a fact that Adam and Keith would sell him out if he went with option 3. Option 2… He looked at Keith. God, he hated that kid sometimes. He used to be able to be irresponsible and only focus on achieving his own goals without worry of _how_ he went about them.

Now he had to think about what kind of future Keith deserved to have and what kind of person he wanted the kid to be. Absolutely unfair. He wrinkled his nose. Option 1 it was then.

“Clifford.” He greeted, trying to keep his voice light. “What are you doing here?”

Really, what _was_ he doing here? At a Garrison open house? Clifford raised an eyebrow and Shiro got the feeling he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“My son goes here.”

Oh, he did _not_ like that answer.

“Really?”

“He’s in your class, Takashi.”

Oh _boy_.

“I’m in his class too!” Keith spoke up, sounding far too polite and social “Who is your son?” He asked and Clifford’s eyes danced over him. Shiro readied himself for a fight. He knew Clifford well enough to know he was three seconds away from a snobby comment about Keith’s hair or clothes. Perhaps he caught onto Shiro’s dangerous energy, because he refrained.

“Daniel.” He answered “Daniel Bishop.”

Shiro’s day just kept getting worse.

He was all too familiar with Daniel Bishop. It was the same kid Keith had threaten to ‘shove the textbook down his throat’ when he kept trying to correct Shiro during class. He was also the kid McClain had screamed at exclusively in Spanish for ten minutes straight. He _also_ happened to be the kid McClain had decked whenever he pulled at another student’s headband during lunch.

He had really thought that Bishop was just a common last name… And that the tendency to be a total dick just kind of went with it.

“Daniel… Bishop?” Keith repeated, obviously trying to place the name. Shiro could tell the second it clicked.

“Yes.” Clifford said snippily “He’s the top of his class.”

“Actually,” Adam smiled and placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder. The fact that Keith didn’t shrug away from him told Shiro that they were united in their hatred for Clifford and his son. “Keith is first in the entire fighter pilot program. He’s expected to graduate early at this rate since his scores are so good and now holds several records that Takashi used to hold!” He said brightly. Clifford’s face hardened.

“And who are you?”

“Adam Frasier. Hi.” He said, holding out his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch how you Takashi know one another?”

Abort, _abort_.

“Old… Friends.” Clifford said and Keith turned to gape at him.

 _‘This guy?_ ’ he mouthed, subtly pointing to him. Shiro gave him a look and he grimaced, turning away to grab some food at the school’s buffet.

“Are you two co-workers?”

“I guess you could say that.” Adam shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t heard Takashi mention you – how long were you friends?”

“Just a summer!” Shiro burst in, probably speaking a bit too loud. Both Clifford and Adam turned to him. “Um, Daniel is doing really well.” He said, a bit weaker. “He’s definitely devoted.”

“I’m glad.” Clifford said coolly and turned away before Shiro could even attempt to repair the situation. Adam turned to gape at him.

“Don’t.”

“Takashi.”

“ _Don’t_.”

“He’s like ten years older than you!”

“Leave me alone! I was nineteen so I didn’t want anything serious. Besides he had a-”

“A what? A 401k? Takashi, he has a _son_ that is _Keith’s_ age.”

“I was there, Adam!” He said and tried to escape his boyfriend’s cackling. Unfortunately Adam was immediately replaced with Keith.

“Did you date him?”

“Go away.”

“You _did_ , oh my God. That’s so embarrassing.”

“Keith, go _away_.”

“He was wearing khakis, Shiro!”

“Do you _want_ me to kick your ass?” He asked, shoving him away. Keith snickered and held up his hands in mock surrender.

“Yeah, yeah. Do you want me to bring you some food? There’s this illegal kitchen somewhere that makes really good pizza.” He told him and Shiro stopped walking at the words ‘illegal kitchen’. He didn’t want to know. He really didn’t. Keith only shrugged before walking away to cause chaos somewhere else. After locating a secluded area he sat down, burying his face in his hands.

“What’s wrong with you?” Elena asked, taking the seat across from him.

“Ran into an ex.” He mumbled. Did he really even _count_ as an ex? It was just a fling.

“Oh. Well, I’m sure you’re used to it.” Elena dismissed “With being gay and all.”

“I… What?” He asked, looking up at her. She shrugged.

“Isn’t that a thing? We’ve all lived at the Garrison since we were kids, Shiro. That’s how it works here. That means the dating pool is already small, even for straight people. I can’t imagine what a small world it is for you guys. How many people have you dated?”

“Including Adam?” Shiro asked “He would be number four.”

A respectable number really. Elena laughed.

“And this is the first time you’ve ran into an ex?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Shiro gave a fearful nod. “Yeah… Expect to run into number two by the end of the year.” She told him. Shiro stared at her. It was like looking at the human form of regret.

“I can’t wait.” He told her dryly.

* * *

 “So,” Shiro said, lacing his fingers together “We have made a mistake.”

Adam nodded, mirroring his position. They were sitting across from on another at the dining table with a pad of sticky notes and pens by their sides. To anyone watching without context, it might look like some kind of formal drug deal.

“Any ideas?” Adam asked and Shiro ripped off a sticky note, scribbling something down before sliding it over to him. Adam picked it up and scoffed. “Please. As if that would work.” He said and pulled out his own sticky note and write something before sliding it to Shiro.

“We are _not_ doing that.” Shiro told him immediately “What’s wrong with you?” He asked and pulled out another sticky note. Adam unfolded it and rolled his eyes.

“You lack creativity, Takashi. We need a solid plan here or we’ll never succeed.”

He slid another note across the table.

“Okay. I really need to stop leaving you alone with Keith if you think like this.”

“What? Keith would like Oregon! Besides, it’s a better idea than trying to convince him to join a club at school.” Adam said, crossing his arms.

“Why would he even go to Oregon? What’s in _Oregon_?! Besides, we need a plan to get him out of the apartment every couple days – not just for one week!” Shiro argued. Adam tapped his fingers against the table.

“You’re technically his guardian. Just order him to make a friend.”

“You don’t _order_ kids around, Adam.”

“I do in my classroom.”

“That’s why your students don’t like you.”

“What are you guys doing?”

Both Shiro and Adam jumped at the sound of Keith’s voice. Adam immediately grabbed the sticky notes and clutched them close to his chest where the teenager had no hope of reaching them. There was a few seconds of silence before Shiro answered.

“…Nothing.”

“O…kay.” Keith frowned and slung his jacket on “I’m going out.”

Adam brightened. Shiro frowned.

“Out? Out where? It’s almost nine.” He asked, looking out the window into the darkness outside. Adam kicked him under the table.

“This guy at school said he could teach me how to use a sword.”

“That’s cool.” Adam nodded.

“ _What_?” Shiro spluttered and when Keith reached for the door, catapulted himself across the room to snap it back shut. “Nope. No, no, no. Who the Hell are you talking about?” He demanded. Keith looked dismayed at having been stopped, but stepped back to meet Shiro’s eyes. “There’s just some random guy who is going to teach you how to use a sword?”

“Yeah. His name is Draven or something.”

“His name is…? Yeah. No.” Shiro shook his head “I’m sorry, but there’s no way I’m letting you go meet a guy named Draven in the middle of the night to teach you how to use a sword.”

“Better Draven than Clifford.” Keith muttered.

“ _What was that_?”

“Nothing! God, you’re so _controlling_.” Keith yelled and threw his hands up in the air as he retreated into his room. Shiro leaned against the door, the weight of the situation falling on him. Sixteen. He was sixteen. This sort of thing was supposed to go away. Adam groaned.

“Come on, Takashi. Why did you stop him? We’ve been trying to get him out of the apartment since you guys moved here!” He whined. Shiro gawked.

The thing about living in the same apartment was that it had its pros and cons. There were plenty of pros, sure… But there were a few issues that came with the whole ‘Keith lives here too’ thing. The main thing being that before the move, if him and Adam wanted some _alone_ , alone time then they could usually just go to whatever apartment Keith _wasn’t_ in. That wasn’t an option now.

Which was tragic, obviously, but he wasn’t about to let Keith get kidnapped by a sword-wielding-Draven just to bang his boyfriend. He was a little miffed that Adam _was._

“Are you serious?” He demanded. Adam must have realized his mistake because his face paled. “I cannot _believe you_!”

“I just meant-”

“Goodnight, Adam.” He scowled and marched to the bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind him. The knob rattled.

“Right… I guess this means I’m sleeping on the couch. Right. Great.” Adam muttered and Shiro waited until his footsteps receded to fall onto the bed with a groan. He was definitely going to sleep early.

It was a few hours later that Shiro woke up to the sound of Keith’s startled yelp.

“Were you attempting to sneak out?” Adam’s voice asked.

“I – _no_! What are you doing on the couch?” He heard Keith splutter.

“Apparently I’m not allowed to prioritize getting laid over your health and safety.”

There was a long pause and Shiro idly wondered if Adam had hurt Keith’s feelings when the dry response came.

“Honestly, where did Shiro _find_ you?”

“I’ve been wondering the same thing about you, kid.”

Shiro put the pillow over his head and screamed.

* * *

 “Draven.” Lance laughed. He was sitting on the kitchen’s counter, watching Shiro make them some hot chocolate. “That’s… Wow. What an interesting name.” He smiled with a small shake of his head “I hate to say this, but Keith sounded like he mellowed out by the time we were launched into space… And that’s saying something cause the dude was _not_ mellow out there.” He rolled his eyes. Shiro smiled, but said nothing. “Though… He has… Gotten calmer since his time with Krolia.” He said slowly “I can’t annoy him _nearly_ as much now.” He mused.

Shiro handed him the hot chocolate, leaning against the wall across from him.

“Feeling better?” He asked and Lance took a sip of the drink, licking his upper lip with a nod. “Ready to talk?”

The paladin looked at his feet, swinging them thoughtfully.

“I… Guess.” He mused “It’s just all kind of confusing. And overwhelming. I feel a bit like when I first got to the Garrison again.” He said with a small smile “I didn’t think _anything_ could be as confusing at that.” He shuddered and tapped his fingers against the mug “Watch me accidentally make another rival again by trying to figure this out.” He grumbled and Shiro frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“Like…I don’t know. So many things can go wrong, I guess? I don’t really know how I’m supposed to go about figuring this stuff out… Do I just… Experiment or something?” He said slowly, looking a bit alarmed by the prospect “What if the other person misreads the situation or something?” He sighed.

“Hey, you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself there… But I was talking about that other part. _Accidentally_ make another rival?” He asked and Lance froze.

“Uh…” He trailed off, eyes wide. He opened his mouth a few times. “Right. Um. Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course.”

“The whole thing with Keith and I… It was kind of a misunderstanding?” He winced. Shiro stared. “At first at least! I just… English isn’t my first language and I…Kind of mistranslated when I first spoke to Keith that one time.” He said and rubbed the back of his neck “I got confused.”

“What… Happened?” Shiro asked, fascinated. Lance sighed.

“So _lectura_ in Spanish means ‘reading’, right? Like… Not quite homework, but similar. So I had meant to ask Keith what was our reading for the day… But instead I asked him ‘what’s our lecture today?’ and so he told me we were talking about whatever in the lecture and I ended not doing the right reading and messed up on the quiz.” He said “I didn’t realize at first and got pissed because I thought he was trying to set me up.”

“You thought he was competing with you.”

“I knew you put us next together because you wanted him to work harder.” He shrugged helplessly “I thought that annoyed him and he was taking it out on me.”

Holy… Shiro wished he could go and round up the entire Garrison faculty to hear this shit. They would all lose their minds, for sure.

“Weren’t you already had the Garrison for a couple years by then though?” Shiro asked and irritation flashed over Lance’s face.

“You speak two languages, Shiro. You know that’s not how it works.” He said, kicking the air in front of him “I was only _eleven_ when I first came to the Garrison. I had never left Cuba and America… It is a weird, weird place. I felt like it took me _forever_ to figure it out. I still have questions.” He said “Like sales tax not being included in the price of things at the store? What’s that about? Nobody has _yet_ to answer that for me.” He grumbled. Shiro scoffed.

“Sounds frustrating.”

“Trust me, my mistranslation with Keith was not the worst thing I did.” Lance scoffed. Shiro rose an eyebrow. He got the feeling Lance wasn’t quite ready to go back to the original discussion at hand.

“Tell me about that.” He said instead and Lance glanced up from his drink.

“Well… It kind of all started when I almost fell off an airplane while looking for the bathroom…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. If you read Basically Home Schooled you'll notice that there were a few correlations there (i.e. you can see the first scene from Keith's POV and Daniel Bishop is actually the redheaded dude Keith threatened).
> 
> But also if you noticed some stuff that didn't 100% seem relevant, then know that it's going to probably play a role in upcoming fics still in the series. You haven't gone crazy - promise. I've kind of set this up so that Lance's story is going to come next, but there still might be one more chapter at this one...idk yet. 
> 
> Either way thanks for dropping by!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know... I keep saying that I'm going to post the next fic in the series, but I should really accept the fact that these fics apparently come in three chapters. 
> 
> Plus TheKiwisCantFly left a comment on the last chapter asking about Shiro and Adam going to pride and I realized how much of a fool I have been... How can I write about gay disasters without bringing them to pride? 
> 
> I apologize for that. Here's more:

“I love you.”

So. Here’s a quick rundown of the situation:

Shiro had never gotten to an ‘I love you’ point with anybody he’s dated before… And with Adam, well. Sure, he’s _thought_ about it. It’s kind of hard not to. Shiro was only twenty-two, damnit. He was _allowed_ to wonder what it would look like for his boyfriend to say those words.

And granted, Adam and him had been dating for almost a year now. It had to happen at some point, right? Or… Was a year too long? Should they have said it sooner? Did that mean their relationship was destined to crash and burn? Dear God. Dear _God_. He really, _really_ liked Adam. How had he fucked up so badly?

“Uh… Takashi?”

“I am so sorry.” He blurted out and immediately felt a thousand times worse when Adam’s eyes widened a bit, face crumbling.

“Oh… Alright. I mean, it’s okay that you aren’t there yet. Or if you don’t want to be there at all. That’s fine too-”

 _Fuck_. Somehow Shiro had made it _worse_.

Desperately, he grabbed Adam and gripped his face between his hands so there was no escape. He could see the confusion in his boyfriend’s eyes and his glasses were kind of getting skewed, but the panic was kind of making him act a little irrationally.

“No. No, Adam. I love you too and I am _so sorry_ about that.”

Adam blinked. He looked a little ridiculous with his face squished between Shiro’s hands.

“Takashi, what the actual fuck?”

* * *

“WE’RE LATE!”

Shiro jolted out of bed, practically flying across the room to find his uniform. He picked up a shoe and threw at the bed. “Adam, get _up_! We’re fucking late!” He yelled, falling over trying to put his pants on. There was a sigh and Adam blearily sat up, grumbling as he threw the shoe out of the bed. “Iverson is going to have us running until we puke.” He complained.

“Takashi.” Adam told him, scowling “We graduated _five years ago_.” He said and Shiro froze, the realization hitting him.

To be fair – you couldn’t really _blame_ him. He had to get up at the same time every week since he was _eleven_. It wasn’t a habit that magically disappeared after he turned eighteen. Slowly he walked back over to the bed and collapsed on it.

“Damn.” He said, throwing himself under the covers and sliding closer to Adam “I can’t believe I still forget that.” He murmured and Adam hummed in agreement. Shiro snorted. “Those poor kids. I wish them luck in getting up this early everyday.”

Adam chuckled.

“I’ve always felt worse for the teachers. Imagine getting up that early and having to deal with teenagers all day? Horrid.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Shiro sunk back into the covers. From beside him, he could feel Adam suddenly tense.

“Hey… Takashi?” He asked, voice too calm. Shiro gave a yawn of acknowledgement. “We’re the teachers.”

There was a beat of silence.

“WE’RE LATE!” He screeched, jumping back out of the bed. This time, Adam joined him in a flurried panic to get ready. Desperately he tried to find the right pieces to his uniform. He looked over at Adam. “That’s my shirt!”

“No, this one’s mine.”

“It’s huge on you!”

“What are you trying to _say_ , Takashi?!”

“Oh my – whatever!” He snapped and pulled on the other shirt. It was definitely too small, but whatever. He had worn tighter when he was sixteen. “Where’s the keys?”

“Have them – do you see my wallet? Oh, thanks.”

“Yeah. Crap! I almost forgot my – thanks, babe.” Shiro muttered and looked around the room. It was a disaster, but he was pretty sure he remembered everything. Adam tugged his hand and they dashed out of the apartment.

“Do you… Feel like we forgot something?” Adam asked as he jumped into Shiro’s car.

“Umm.. Wallet, phone, keys…” He ticked off. They pulled on the main road, quietly mulling over the potential answers.

It was ten minutes later when it hit him.

“Keith.” He breathed out and Adam swore. They had forgotten Keith, damnit.

“I’m here.”

“HOLY – No!” Adam shouted, putting a hand over his heart. Shiro almost crashed the car, driving it to the side of the road so he could pull over and collect himself “No! No, don’t _do_ that! We’re old and can have a freaking heart attack!” He growled and Keith, who had been lying in the backseat, shrugged.

“Sorry.”

“For the love of-” Shiro murmured “Sit up and put on a seatbelt.” He told him. Keith rolled his eyes and sat up, clicking the seatbelt with wayyyy more attitude than strictly necessary. “You’ve been here the whole time?!”

“Why do you guys act like this doesn’t happen _every morning_?”

* * *

“Put that back.”

“Takashi, come on.”

“Adam, Keith can’t drink milk.”

“Oh so that means _I_ can’t drink milk?!” Adam demanded. Shiro looked at him and he moodily put the carton back. “I’m a grown man. I can get what I want at the store.”

“Put the yogurt back too.”

“I’m only doing this because I love you.” Adam snapped and Shiro rolled his eyes. “Why does _Keith’s_ health come first anyways? Why can’t you think about how brittle my bones are or something?” He asked and Shiro turned to him.

“Why do _you_ still act like you don’t like him? Don’t think I don’t know it was you stopped that James kid from messing with him.” Shiro pointed out and held up a bottle “Look at this! Calcium supplements. Because I love you.” He said dryly and tossed them into the cart.

“That was not me… James came to the realization he was being a dick on his own.”

“Sure, sure. I also saw you put his favorite brand of cereal in the cart.” Shiro hummed. Before Adam could dignify this with a response there was a loud crash and the pair turned an entire fruit stand shoved over.

“God – _look what you did_!” Somebody yelled “This is why we can’t have nice things, Garrett!”

“ _Me_?! I am the reason nice things _exist_!”

“YOU CAN MAKE ONE DECENT PLATE OF POTATO SALAD AND SUDDENLY YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE!”

“YOU KNOW WHAT?! I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!”

There was a pause.

“Hunk that was _so_ mean.” Came a very small whisper. Shiro frowned. He recognized those voices… Part of him wanted to peer around the corner and see what was happening, but part of him also knew he would regret it. Adam perked up next to him, a frown playing at his lips. He narrowed his eyes in the direction of the voices, but then his eyes flicked to Shiro and he turned away.

“Isn’t that the kid who started crying over sales tax?” One of the cashiers asked, having not moved during the entire confrontation. Shiro grabbed Adam and turned them away. Nope. Not today. No curiosity was worth whatever was happening in aisle four. No way.

“I just think you should reconsider how much attention you are giving _Keith_ , you know… the kid who doesn’t know what lasagna is – versus me – a handsome, chiseled man who loves you.” Adam continued as if nothing happened. Shiro put their items on the scanner.

“You are handsome. You do love me… But chiseled?” He frowned and tilted his head “Maybe we should go with baby faced?”

“Just because your ass is nice doesn’t mean I won’t kick it.”

* * *

“Shiro, stop crying.” Keith sighed, rubbing his back.

“No.” Shiro told him. He was on the couch, head in his arms as he tried to ward off the tears to no avail. He had been sobbing for the past five minutes and thought his stray tears were an improvement... Keith seemed unimpressed.

“I seriously regret coming home early. Do you usually drink away your problems when I’m gone?”

“No.”

There was a heavy sigh.

“So it’s just my lucky day then.” He grumbled “Listen. It isn’t that bad, I promise-”

“It _is_.” Shiro insisted. Keith didn't understand. He was young. He hadn't been in love yet. He had such a long life ahead him... Shiro felt his heart burst at the thought and started crying again.

“No, it isn’t.” Keith threw his hands up, abandoning all attempts at comforting him “Shiro, Adam is coming back. He won’t even be gone that long.” He told him and Shiro sniffled. His brain was a little fuzzy from the alcohol. Keith was supposed to be visiting some friends (which Shiro had been suspicious about, but finally agreed to let him go), so Shiro and Adam decided to take advantage of the situation to get wasted.

Tragically, this was _before_ Adam left him.

“I miss him.” He said quietly. The admission didn’t soften Keith like he hoped he it would. On the contrary Keith seemed to get even more annoyed. Muttering to himself he walked over to the bathroom door and banged on it.

“HURRY UP BEFORE YOUR BOYFRIEND DIES OF PETTINESS!”

The door immediately opened and Adam’s face popped up, glasses skewed and mouth dropped open.

“I have a _boyfriend_?!” He asked, completely scandalized “Fuck. _Fuck_. How am I going to tell Takashi this?”

Shiro froze. He let the words settle over him before tearing up again.

“You have a _boyfriend_?!”

“Takashi, no-”

“Jesus Christ.” Keith sighed and looked between the pair “You guys didn’t even finish the entire bottle of Vodka to be like this.”

* * *

“Hey, I have your phone.” Shiro said, knocking on the door to Adam’s classroom. “I don’t know how it got into the vents, but that’s where I found it.” He said and Adam stopped teaching to gratefully accept the phone.

“Thanks, babe.” He told him and Shiro turned to wave at the class and leave when he noticed when kid’s hand jolt into the air.

“Mr. Frasier!” He proclaimed and Adam turned. Exasperation hinted at his features.

“Yes, Mr. Morrison?”

The kid looked like he was taking a deep breath, gathering the courage for whatever he was about to say. Shiro had a sinking feeling on what it might be.

“You’re doing something wrong.” He said and Shiro prayed he meant something about the space diagrams on the board “My mother says the bible says Adam and _Eve."_ He gestured towards Shiro with distaste "Not Adam and _Steve_.” He continued and Shiro winced. Yep. There it was.

He waited for Adam to explode. Silence hung over the class.

“Who… Who on Earth is _Steve_? This is Takashi.”

* * *

 “So… You speak Spanish?” Keith was asking, hanging off the couch and regarding Adam with interest.

“Yeah, my mom is from Mexico so she taught me.” Adam shrugged, flipping through his book.

“Huh… Could you teach me?”

Adam glanced up at him, head tilted a little to the side.

“You want to learn Spanish?” He asked and Shiro smiled. It appeared he was finally getting Keith interested in learning about the world.

“Uh, yeah. Just one phrase, really.” Keith said and Shiro hummed, figuring they were taking baby steps. It wasn’t until the next day that he realized he was wrong.

" _What the fuck did you just say to me, Kogane?!_ "

Ah. McClain. Of course it was McClain - how did Shiro miss that? That night Shiro told Adam what had happened and watched as his boyfriend choked on some pasta.

"Wait... Who did he say it to?" He asked, brows furrowing together.

"McClain. You know, the kid in my class he doesn't get along with?"

Adam went silent, but for a second he swore he saw his boyfriend's face go white. Weird.

"Oh..."

* * *

“Adam! How do I look?” Shiro asked, putting on his boyfriend’s glasses. Adam studied him carefully for a few moments.

“I can’t see you.” He said and then smiled "I'm sure you look beautiful though."

“Oh.” Shiro frowned, feeling his face heat up. He looked over at Keith, who was… He wasn’t exactly for sure what he was doing, but he was very concentrated on it. “Keith, how do I look?”

Keith didn’t even look up from the paper.

“Like a moron.”

* * *

“Remember when you used to think I was cool?” Shiro scowled as Keith got into his car, half-covering his face. “Do we remember that? Because up until the age of fourteen you used to brag about knowing me all the time.” He complained, pulling the car out of the Garrison’s parking lot. “Now I feel super old. I’m only twenty-three, you know. I shouldn’t feel this old.”

“Of course I thought you were cool. You let me ride your hoverbike and snuck me into R-rated movies.”

“I still do those things!”

“Yeah, but now I’ve seen you cry because Adam is ‘too damn cute’.” Keith said, making quotations marks in the air. “No offense, but it that _does_ knock you down a few pegs on the cool-o-meter.” He said dismissively “Can we get some McDonalds or something? I’m starving.”

“You just got knocked down a few pegs for using the word ‘cool-o-meter’.” Shiro muttered, switching lanes. “And no. Adam is making food at home.”

“Yeah. This is why you aren’t cool.” Keith grumbled and Shiro gaped. He debated for a moment before deciding he needed coffee anyways and pulling into the drive through.

“Don’t tell Adam.”

In case anyone was wondering... The traitor told Adam as soon as they walked through the door.

* * *

Pride was an event that was not taken lightly in the Shirogane-Frasier-Kogane household. It wasn’t even an _event_ so much as an annual _experience_ at this point. Usually, Shiro would go and destroy Adam’s apartment in an attempt to get ready, but since this year they all lived in one place… Well. The entire apartment looked like a warzone.

“Are you going, Keith?”

“Stop asking stupid questions, Frasier.” Keith scowled, not looking at Adam. He appeared to be more concerned with watching Shiro figure out which shirt to wear. “I go _every_ year don’t I?”

“I keep hoping you won’t dress like you’re going to funeral each year.” Adam shot back and continued before Keith could retaliate “Okay, okay. So here are the goals this year-”

“It’s the same goals _every_ year.”

“I can’t hear monochrome.” Adam replied back without missing a beat “Goal 1: Find the homophobes that are holding up those signs that say we’re sinners and kiss in front of them. Goal 2: Find Keith a group of friends that will overlook his inability to wear anything other than black-”

“I have a red jacket!”

“Goal 3: Find enough free condoms to last us for the year-”

“ _Gross!_ ”

“Goal 4: Ditch Keith with his new gay friends and go to a bar where I can watch my boyfriend pole dance again like when we first started dating.”

“I’m sorry… Watch your boyfriend do _what_ exactly?” Keith spluttered, turning to Shiro with nothing short of horror on his face. Adam hummed, face going dreamy. Shiro gave a broad smile and put one of the three shirts back into the pile.

“You can’t prove anything.” He shrugged and decided to go with the crop top. Keith saw his choice and rolled his eyes. Adam lit up. You can’t please everyone, he supposed.

There was really no point in driving to pride because 1) It was a mile away 2) a mile away meant that it extended exactly to their front door and 3) there was no way he would be able to drive with so many people in the street anyways. So the trio grabbed some water bottles (he was almost positive Adam’s was filled with vodka) and started their journey.

“I hope Iverson is there.”

“Does he still not think you look gay?”

“I have to prove it to him somehow.” Shiro muttered. He didn’t _understand_. How did the nail polish not work? He was beginning to wonder if maybe… Nah.

Before he could ponder much more on the issue, they were greeted with a plethora of color. Lady Gaga blared down the street, people singing along to the lyrics as a variety of different colored flags were waved about. Glitter was spilled on the ground and Shiro was 99% sure it was also in the air since he just inhaled a good chunk of it.

“You have your phone, right?” He asked Keith, seeing how crowded it was. “And it’s charged?”

“Yeah.” Keith hummed, watching the crowd. His arms were crossed over his chest, but there was something in his expression that softened as he watch a couple of girls giggling when they walked by, pinkies laced together and foreheads practically touching. They were young and so clearly in love. Shiro smiled.

“That could be us…” Adam told Shiro, watching them go “But we have a third wheel.”

“Why are you always so petty?” Keith grumbled, softness gone. “Come on, let’s go find the homophobes!” He said brightly. Shiro rolled his eyes. Both Adam and Keith shared the love in ticking the group of protesters off. Adam by repeatedly kissing him and Keith by flicking them off without worry of getting yelled at... By Shiro at least.

“Why do you both thrive off of chaos?” Shiro asked, letting Adam grab his hand to drag him along.

Adam’s goals ended up being fairly successful. After taking exactly nine selfies with the protesters (Adam and Keith both kept a scrapbook), getting 69 condoms (Adam insisted on counting them and was immediately immature while Keith was confused on why that was funny), and watching as Keith ended up talking to a drag queen about politics for an hour (no, Shiro did not let Adam leave him there), they finally sat down, thoroughly exhausted.

“I can’t believe Jesus Christ himself came to pride and held up a sign that said ‘I’m cool with’ in front of a hundred TV cameras.” Shiro told them, lying back on the pavement. He was covered in paint and at some point Adam got lipstick and kissed his face.

“I can’t believe that police officer twerked onstage.” Keith added.

“I can’t believe I’m still sober.” Adam offered, picking up his head to see the booze being handed out again. He looked at Keith with consideration “You _might_ be old enough…”

“In five years!” Shiro interrupted and the sixteen-year-old frowned at that. Shiro was cool with him drinking a little bit – who doesn’t illegally drink? – but figured this might not be the right time or place to do that for the first time.

“Yeah… I’m good.” Keith said and reached over, picking out some confetti from Shiro’s hair “I’m going to head back to the apartment.. and yes my phone is fully charged.” He added when Shiro opened his mouth “I’ll text you when I’m home.” He said and glared at Adam “Please return back fully clothed.”

“No promises.” Adam said and Keith made a face. After he disappeared into the crowd he turned to his boyfriend. “This is my favorite day of the year.” He smiled, moving a bit closer to him. The sun had left long ago, but the street was still bright with life. Shiro laid a head on his shoulder.

“Mine too.” He hummed, watching someone set off rainbow fireworks. They sat there for a few minutes, watching the energy come in waves. A few couples passed by them, spinning and giggling as they ran to join the celebrations.

“Ready to go back in?” Adam asked and Shiro turned, propping his chin on his shoulder.

“Yes… But you have to pole dance too.”

“You make it sound like I don’t _want_ to.” Adam smirked and kissed him.

* * *

 “Aw, pride sounds fun.” Lance told him brightly. “Personally, I would _love_ to pole dance.” He mused. Shiro paused. Maybe he shouldn’t be putting those kinds of ideas in his head. He had bigger problems to deal with at the moment though.

“Uh huh. But let’s go back to _your_ story.” He frowned “You and Adam _knew_ each other?” He demanded because his boyfriend 100% did _not_ mention that at all and Shiro was going to kick his ass if Lance’s tale was going where he thought it was.

Lance shifted a bit, eyes dancing towards the room where the rest of the paladins, Alteans, Krolia, and Adam himself were asleep in. He looked back to Shiro and gave an innocent shrug. The hot chocolate was now long gone and Shiro wondered if he should just go ahead and make some coffee as well... Something told him he would need it.

“Well... Yeah," Lance finally said "He was the one I always went to when Keith was bugging me." He confessed, kicking the air in front of him. Shiro narrowed his eyes. "He also would tell me the stuff _you_ told the staff. I couldn't believe you were trying to get us together." He added, wrinkling his nose. Shiro closed his eyes.

His boyfriend was a two-timing son of a bitch. Shiro honestly couldn’t believe this. Adam was only supposed to gossip with _him_! And after all that whining about Keith – he had stolen a kid himself! Unbelievable.

“Dear God. Fine. Whatever.” He muttered to himself and gestured to Lance “So you were yelling at the cashier…?” He prompted. They could get back to exactly how Adam had betrayed him later. Lance grimaced.

“Right. So what kind of happened was…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I PROMISE Lance's stuff is coming up. I had planned for Adam and Lance to have secretly been besties the whole time, but now there's a headcanon going around that Adam is part Hispanic... So I decided I have to totally redo his fic because I can't NOT have a twelve-year-old Lance and teacher-Adam talking shit about other students/teachers in Spanish. It just has to be done. 
> 
> ...Also I just want to leave you guys mulling over how he got arrested still lol.


End file.
